Mr Douchebag "likes" your comment

   I'll start off with directing my hatred towards the concept of "likes." Now what I mean in particular by that is the whole wide-spread option of clicking a button to express "liking" ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING someone says no matter how asinine it is. It's found on Facebook, Youtube, certain forums, and all kinds of other things. Now why is this such a problem? It's just annoying. I mean sure, it's convenient to just express enjoyment with one click of the mouse as opposed to a thoughtful, meaningful reply to a liked comment but keep in mind that the internet is not always a shining beacon of intelligence.

   These complaints may seem petty but dammit, I give no fucks. It seriously pains me to see a clever Facebook status go without any comments and even worse, lacking any likes. Likes have become a symbol of validation among Facebook users and so I expect to see them used deservedly. But no, I look to another status and lo and behold;

Girl: lol ok?
Guy: Okay.




   SERIOUSLY? Any half-witted primate could have came up with that response but the worst part is that ten people were so amused by that comment that they took the time to reward him. In response to such an injustice, one person had to say, "The highest part of my day is always when someone likes my post on Facebook. If that doesn't happen that day, then it's when someone quotes my GameFAQs post and says 'This'." See. There are people out there who depend on likes for validation and comfort and we reward only the ill-thought out statuses and comments. What this does is promote the usage of such types of comments from those seeking validation until the original and thought-provoking comments are merely a thing of the past. Once such originality is lost on Facebook, it's only a matter of time before this extends to the real world when authors are praised more for so eloquently stating, "Sleep, my Bella. Dream happy dreams. You are the only one who has ever touched my heart. It will always be yours. Sleep, my only love." ...Wait... shit.


   Let's definitely not forget the retarded Facebook pages that young teens make up and think are funny, sweet, or romantic. You know the ones I'm talking about. The whole "Girl/Boy" conversations. For some reason, people are actually compelled to click that "like" button next to some of them. Next thing you know, I log onto Facebook and what do I notice on my news feed? One of those made-up, counter-productive, "mushy" tween romance conversations is contaminating my entire feed.. I call them counter-productive because half the time, the romance is lost in what is just poor writing, unrealistic situations, or just being fucking retarded. I swear, my soul dies a little on the inside every time I see one of them. 

Isn't he sweet?

  I think the worst part though is just seeing what people will like on Youtube, the internet's congregation of the most inattentive simpletons today's generation has to offer. Not only do some of the most asinine comments get liked up to the top spot, but you're also left with a barrage of douchebags begging for their comment to get "thumbs up'ed" to help inflate their own undersized e-penis. More asinine comments  that somehow manage to become Youtube's favorites include:


~ "You're supposed to talk to the old man by the well! Thumbs up so he can see this!" - In response to a "Let's Play _____" video uploaded two years ago.


~ Some one making sure to recite the uploader's "funny" comments in the video, WORD. FOR. WORD. Thank you, I heard the joke the first time, I don't need a text document to go with that.


~ Some one who feels the need to point out the number of people who dislike the video, for those that can't look a few inches northeast, and how they had to have been dropped on their head as a child.


~ And of course, 

   Okay, maybe the last one didn't get THAT many likes but that's still three too many, dammit.